Saturday, September 27, 2014


Venus walked through the main door just as thunder rolled overhead and the rain began to fall. She glanced over her shoulder to glare at the rain then flounced to the front desk of the most expensive hotel in New York City. “Reservation for Vanessa Rome please.” She gave the concierge her best smile. He didn’t look dazzled.

He tilted his balding head forward to peer at the computer screen. “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t have a reservation for anyone by that name.”

Venus sighed. “My Daddy made the reservation for me, can you check for Dios Rome, please?” Again she smiled dazzlingly at him.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but the only reservation we have for that name was last month. My computer shows that no one claimed the room and the card used to reserve it was charged for the full three days. Are you certain you didn’t get your travel dates wrong?”

She did a quick mental count in her head. “Blast, what’s his name changed the calendars, didn’t he?”


“The one with the green shorts,” Venus raged, godly powers overflowing. She wiped away a tear of frustration from her eye. “Daddy never remembers the date changes. The two extra months and the New Year starting in the middle of winter rather than when Persephone returns from Hades. It’s really too much!”

“Of course.” The concierge cleared his throat. “Would you like me to call you a cab, ma’am?”

“A cab?”

“Yes, a cab, we’re fully booked this evening. I can’t offer you a new reservation.”

“You can’t?”

“No, ma’am. We’re full. You need to go somewhere else.”

Venus’s immortal power surged, her eyes narrowed, she balled her fists ready to attack her victim.

“Gregory?” A blonde woman pushed past her to rush to the concierge.

“Marian?” He stared at her in shock. “I haven’t seen you…. I meant to…. I can explain…”

“Oh, Gregory, there’s nothing to explain! I understand perfectly and my answer is,” she blushed and looked down, “...yes. Yes, I will marry you!”

As the happily reunited couple burst into a frenzy of sweet coos, whispered promises, and lusty kisses Venus altered the guest book. A few minor changes and the penthouse with a view was hers.

She cleared her throat. “My reservation,” she reminded the lipstick-covered man, “I’d like my room key, please.”

“Yes, of course, right away.” He didn’t even question how his full hotel suddenly had a penthouse free.

Venus took the room key with a final look of disgust.

“The room will be ready in an hour.” The woman trying to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation swallowed up the man’s line of patter.

“Jupiter, almighty!” Venus swung her multicolored Fendi handbag and stalked out back into the night. The thunder grumbled over head as the rain subsided. Her gold Gucci heels clicked on the cement as she tried to breath the fetid city air.

A Mercedes drove past, splashing her shimmering dress with water. Her fists clenched. “How dare you!”

Immortal wrath churned, reaching out to punish the horrible human. With a graceful flick of her wrist Venus dried her dress. She tossed her perfect mane of golden hair and crossed with the light.

There was the blaring of a horn, the squeal of tires, and the crunch of a black Mercedes hitting a mini-van. Venus looked back with an evil smile.

The woman in the Mercedes jumped out, nearly tripping over a manhole, and started to rage at the driver of the mini-van. He got out, yelled at her, yelled again in delight when he realized who he was yelling at, and they started kissing.

“Jupiter, almighty, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Venus moaned as the on-lookers clapped. A media-outlets man-on-the-street cam stopped to interview the happily reunited couple. “It’s so unfair!”

She kept walking, window shopping through the best part of the city, while all around her smited humans fell in love, rekindled old romances, decided to give love a chance. Her stomach roiled as a feuding couple in a café put differences aside so they could kiss and make-up.

Despondent, Venus slunk into a shabby bookstore and curled up in an over-stuffed armchair to sip a hot cocoa with extra whip cream.

“Bad day?” the barista asked as she placed a napkin next to Venus on the side table.

“The worst! My reservations at the hotel were messed up, I just had a fight with my husband, and now everywhere I look people are falling in love again. I hate that!”

“To bad,” the girl says without sympathy.

“What about you?” Venus asked with a sniffle. “You have some hot body to curl up with tonight?”

“Nope. I prefer cold and dead.” The girl slipped her a card before walking away.

Hit Girls- Taking care of problems and cleaning your closet since 1982.  First time free.

Venus turned the card over, thinking. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Vulcan, it was that he didn’t understand why she was always with Mars. After all, it was blazingly obvious to everyone but her jealous husband why she was with him. Mars was a wonderful shopping buddy, he understood why she needed more sling-back pumps, he could match colors, and he was madly in love with his hair-stylist from Tulsa.

Vulcan just didn’t understand.

With a snap of her fingers the card vanished. Hit girls, hit men, hit whatever… that’s not what she needed. She needed……….

“Josh?” The barista was staring at her new customer as if he’d grown a third head.

The Hollywood hero smiled as he pulled a gun. “Sorry, Babes, you know how it is.”

“But, we, I …” A coffee mug dropped from her hands, shattering on the ground as the barista backed away.

The man stood.

The ground shook.

The door to the bookstore opened. Lightening cut across the sky silhouetting a familiar form. He walked in, adjusting his glasses that hid his too-green eyes. The well-cut suit he wore accented his well-muscled frame.

Venus sighed. The Romans had it wrong, she’d married the hottest man on Olympus Mons.

Vulcan sat down across from her. “I’m sorry.”

She sat up, quite surprised. Vulcan never said sorry, it just wasn’t in him. In their long, tempestuous marriage she could count the number of apologies he’d given on one hand. He never said sorry, but he showed it in the little things he did. A new vase of black glass, diamonds, a new mountain range in some far-off tropical locale…

“Come on, don’t make me say it again. Is that what you want?”

Venus shook her head and put her mug down with care, the whole world seemed to slow. “No. You’re sorry? Really?”

“I went to surprise you with Mars…” He broke off and blushed.

Venus blushed in sympathy. Vulcan wasn’t just near-sighted sometimes he was downright blind. She cleared her throat. “He’s a nice boy, and they make each other happy.”

Vulcan turned bright red. “It’s just, I expected…. Jupiter! Venus, you are so beautiful I can’t imagine how any man would turn you away for, for… anyone else.”

Venus studied her nails with interest. There was a story there. If you got upset because the boy you love swung the other way, well, blame it on Hera. Venus knew and was keeping the blackmail tucked away for a rainy day.

“Don’t worry about. I never notice them. Just you.” She smiled up at Vulcan, batted her eyelashes, took his breath away…

Behind them the world began to move again. Josh stepped forward, gun still aimed at the betrayed barista’s heart. The coffee-girl tilted her chin up defiantly. “Go ahead, you’ve all ready broken my heart.”

Vulcan looked over and then winked at Venus. “Aren’t you going to give the girl a break?”

Venus smiled.

Josh dropped the gun. “Marry me. We’ll run away together. No one ever needs to know…”

Goddesses always get happy endings. 

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